From Failure to Failure - with Enthusiasm
Written 18 June 2008
�It is incredible what a bad race can do for your self esteem. �It was, up until Sunday, not something that had happened to me in a while. Every race I have entered in the last six months has been ok to very good (with the occasional win thrown in). �As any athlete will tell you winning, or in many cases just riding well, is a drug. �That is why athletes push on through the form slumps, to feel that invincible feeling of being the victor of their peers.
On Sunday I lined up for the Auckland half distance championships. Admittedly until the last 18 months I have avoided road racing like the plague. Mainly being frustrated by being too heavy and not training well I was always fearful of lining up and embarrassing myself, which in reality becomes a self fulfilling cycle as the less you race the less you race, if you know what I mean. So Sunday was sort of a big deal in that I have done several club road races this winter but not an important "medals on the" line type road race.
I feel fit at the moment. I feel road race worthy and for the first time in about 8 years I have trained for the road and trained hard. �It was with this mindset that I lined up. When the gun went �the breaks started and I chased them and I rode the front. �I have been told that I need to ride my own race, not sit on like a sprinter any more but feel the wind in my face. So I did! And then it all went wrong.
Having chased a break down a hill into a sharp left turn I thought three of us had a break so I took my turn hard only to look up and see a hill, at which point I knew things were going to get worse. Past me went the bunch and on into the distance. �I was dropped. �But I chased! To no avail and then pulled out.
I had ridden beyond my current capabilities. I may be fit but I'm not yet that fit and I mis-managed my race.
I was demoralised and disappointed. It wasn't that important but I thought I was better than that and I am better than that.
There is a Winston Churchill quote that says that success is moving from failure to failure with enthusiasm and that is what I am trying to do. It is so hard after a ride like that not to want to throw it in, for at least a week and down a few bottles of wine instead. �But I think surely that is the difference between the good and the great is those who just pick themselves back up, face failure with enthusiasm and throw on the chamois, the shoes and the helmet and get back out there. So that's what I did, so that next time I will not be dropped.
�
